Colossal Awakening

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed myself that night. I had seen friends, laughed, slugged a few beers, and blasted some music on the drive home. Unique, however, that evening was not. Thus far it was exactly the same as any other night. Surely by the next morning my memory of the evening's happenings would already have melted away in my internal crock pot, rendering it undecipherable from any of the other chunks of cheese...I mean nights out.

I pulled my car up the driveway of my parents' house and proceeded inside. As customary, I grabbed something to drink, said hello to my father, and retreated to the cool sanctuary of the basement. I lay on the couch watching TV and feeling...well feeling next to nothing besides a slight buzz. Nothing isn't exactly accurate, rather I felt uninspired and disillusioned. Not towards people, places, or events, but about my purpose and placement on this chunk of rock (grand-scheme philosophy sort of stuff...you follow me.) Perhaps that is why each evening the thought of going out still held some allure; for sure enough each night the same muddled thoughts of insignificance and lack of direction would creep up on my consciousness, but at least I could be drunk minuscule and lost. Yeah, Pat, fantastic reasoning.

I heard a few muffled footsteps from the floor above, most likely my father calling it a night and heading to bed. Instinctively I switched to the old man channel, sure enough that night's John Wayne movie just ended; a confirmation my father had gone to bed. I continued laying in the dark basement, the glow of the television making me squint, and the pointless babel making my head hurt, when it began.

What began? Hurry! - Actual outbursts from enthralled readers...me amusing myself with thoughts of grandeur. And back to reality.

The rain pattering against the window caught my attention. Unusual considering it wasn't raining hard, and it was barely audible above the crap blaring on the television. I hit the mute button, allowing the sound outside to ensnare me fully, as though a Homeresque Siren were luring me. Lifting myself from the couch, I proceeded to grab the stool next to the pool table and positioned it under the window. Quickly I removed the window screen, silently I cranked the lever opening my confines to the outside world, and hoisted myself through the opening; series of events performed via muscle memory from all the times I escaped my parents' house for...let's say, late night adventures.

Immediately my eyes became fixed on the sky. Absolute brilliance. The combination of stars intermittently dispersed between the ominous clouds, and sporadic illumination from the lightening in the distance was phenomenal. No no, fucking phenomenal, it sounds more emphatic. Somehow I had made my way from the side of the house, where the basement window is, to smack-dab in the middle of the driveway. I say somehow because I have no recollection of ever diverting my eyes in any direction other than upwards. I opened my arms, trying to feel as many drops as possible, all the while daring not to blink despite the rain hitting my face and eyes. Tim Robins in The Shawshank Redemption, sans the crawl through fecal matter.

Thoughts began pulsing somewhere within, intensifying with each passing second. I began picturing myself from a third person perspective, standing there in the middle of the driveway. Expanding my thoughts, I pictured our planet spinning like a top. Moving ever further away, I pictured Earth hurdling through space around the Sun. Speeding outward my mind thought of our galaxy infinitely coursing through time, joining the other solar systems on our arm of the galaxy. I had convinced myself I could physically feel my own movement through space. The heavens seemed to be calling me, the rain acting as their messenger. Calmly and gradually, as the rain soaked my body and my skin absorbed the moisture, a sense of acceptance and peace found refuge within. I was elated...thankful. Emotions, start your engines. My eyes started producing a liquid of their own, damn eyes. At least the rain would mask my vulnerability from the prying eyes of neighbors. Yeah, like me weeping for joy is what a neighbor would latch onto had they been watching the night's events unfold. More like, this idiot better be on drugs or I'm having his ass committed.

It was a monumental moment in my life. No longer would cynicism drive my thoughts towards the blandness in life. Rather I felt I now had the ability to seek the positive attributes cleverly hidden in every day life, yet still be awestruck at the special occasions which come around every so often. Humanity's insignificance, universally speaking, is of no importance. It is our lives, and our choice to live peacefully and with fulfillment. I had received a gift that night.

Mystically and surprising as my awakening had come, it quietly retreated. I finally took my eyes away from the sky, and peacefully made my way back inside. I closed the window, put the screen back on, and returned the stool to its proper place. As I laid back down on the couch, also known as my bed...I preferred it to my bed upstairs, I felt wonderful. I felt wonderful about the next day, about school, about my place and course through life. Oh, and I couldn't wait to meet my friends tomorrow at the local watering hole.